The Trump Administration Makes Me Feel 16 Again

It’s a strange feeling, being 25 and experiencing the same feelings you did at 16.

I’ve been trying to find words to speak out about everything going on, and realized I’ve been writing these words since I was 16. 16. That’s how old I was when Donald Trump took office for the first time. 16. That’s how old I was when everything changed for me. Everywhere I looked, people proudly hung signs, wore hats, shirts and waved flags in support of someone who stood against the very idea of me. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel safe.

At 16, I felt a fire inside me. A fire fueled by fear. At 20, I knew this fire had to be turned into something besides fear. I had lived so many years in silence, believing it was my only option. I was tired of being quiet. So, I took classes, read books and articles that completely changed my life. I leaned on my community. For the first time in a really long time, I felt like I had a voice. At 21, I was eligible to vote in a presidential campaign for the first time. I proudly voted with everyone I love in mind.

But now, I am 25 and I feel 16 again. The fear is back. There isn’t much understanding I can try to do. Even if there was, I don’t think I ever want to reach a state of understanding.

Everything I am, everything I’ve done, is a direct result of my parents' sacrifices and hard work. Both of my parents came to this country for one thing: better opportunities for themselves and their future family. I’ve tried to wrap my head around choosing to gamble with the unknown for a life and children you are yet to have. The only way I’ve been able to describe this sacrifice is as the ultimate act of love. My parents put my brothers and me first long before there was even a “my brothers and me.” Being given this type of love is the greatest privilege of my life. 

I have spent 25 years watching my parents work for every single thing they have. The land they own. The house they built. The cars they drive. The college diploma I received, hanging in their living room. None of this has been free. None of this has been easy. My parents have spent more than half their lives assimilating into a country that so blatantly tells us we don’t belong here. 

After graduating, it was very clear to me that nothing inspired me more than amplifying the voice of the Latino Community. I have had the incredible privilege of working and meeting some of the strongest and inspiring people I have ever met. I see myself in every single one of them. Although my job is to amplify their voices, they have amplified my voice like no one else ever has. 

Maybe what I am feeling at 25 is not fear, but disbelief. Disbelief that there are so many who lack empathy. That is what this comes down to. Empathy. Donald Trump and his ideologies have been uprooting my life for a decade now. I’m not suggesting that these ideologies are of his own creation. These evil ideas are far from new, I know that. What I do see is, he’s once again giving evil one of the largest platforms in the world.

There isn’t much I can do besides continuing to educate myself and advocating for my community. And while the fear is back, there’s a couple of things that have changed. I am not 16 anymore. I am 25 now. I am no longer afraid to fight and speak up for what I believe in. Juntos somos más. Nunca nos podrán callar. Prometo que nunca pararé de usar mi voz. La voz que tengo por todos los que han luchado.